Monkius's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Ninja and Blind Girl]

Bleh.

Lol @ the person who said "it's more like watching a movie"... Like, say, EVERY OTHER DEFENSE GAME???

But yeah, some real flaws:

- I was having a gas watching the little guys jump around the map like gerbils on cocaine after having set my ninjas to "aggro", only to find one of them CLEAR ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MAP, staring off into the distance like a douche bag while the others FIGHT TO THEIR DEATH... You'd think they'd pay more attention if they were so aggro...

- Sometimes one of the ninjas would even stand directly behind another and watch him fight to his death, and only start attacking when the guy infront dies... But then again, sometimes they would both gang up on the "mob" like good little coked-up gerbils... Weird.

[The Book of Living Magic]

Lol, way too awesome...

I loved the quirkiness of this game, and how it was filled with a lot of dry and/or esoteric humour... My favourite was when The Fabulous Screech said that humans were "ironically named" Homo Sapiens. Naturally, this piqued my interest, and after looking up what it meant in Latin, I loled.

I think the current rating of 2.63 is really unfair (ie, much too low) for this game...

[Hood Episode 1]

Huh?

I love the atmosphere and puzzles in this game (as well as the "Alice is Dead" series, thought I recognised the animation style from somewhere...), but the ending is just my inventory and instead of a scene/landscape and arrows, a picture of the hunter with some text ("I searched [...] described") It does this both in IE and Chrome. Is this supposed to happen? If so, I think that's a pretty weak ending and kind of ruins it. If not, is there any way for me to fix what's going on?

Hyptosis responds:

Um, that's pretty weird. I can' think of what would cause it. The ending should show the metal god, and then it say 'to be continued'

[Scuba]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Great game... But the crafting setup is INFURIATING!!! Especially the air tanks and diamonds. You seriously need a better way to implement the whole "can't build THIS until you build THIS rule". Or fuck, maybe just require ONE tank to get the next level tank? Making two of them is crazy tedious and the game loses a lot of its fun IMO...

[Galactic Miner]

'Eh.

The storyline on this one is wonky, "omg I need 2500 minerals to exchange for this space-cruise ship... lets go mine some" then he ends up flying through space crashing into the minerals to collect them? How is that mining? Doesn't mining somehow involve say, /a mine?/

Anyway, the gameplay was decent, the only problem was that whenever I got over-zealous a bit and moved my mouse cursor off the flash game and onto the webpage, the game lagged up a storm (my system is less than a year old and has a quad-core processor, a simple flash game simply should not lag)

I liked the achievements, they weren't chores, but the "30 minerals on day 1" sure was a challenge (I never ended up getting it)

Fun way to kill a half hour.
5/5
7/10, since I can't give 7.5

[Mega Miner]

*****CONTAINS SPOILERS***** (Big deal...)

I'm going to try to write this review without comparing the game to "Motherload"[sic], because everyone is probably sick of that by now...

Here goes:

This game started out fun. Making money from mining various ores, upgrading your rig, making progress toward the quests... There were even a couple of rather enticing and mysterious quests at the bottom about "black boxes" and "buried kings".

You would think that after completing one of said quests, you would receive some kind of reward for your labours, like a rare upgrade you can't find in the shop, or fighting Satan, like in M--Shit. Nevermind. But No, all you get is a text box that says something like "ZOMG, THIS WILL CHANGE SCIENCE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!11one" But still, I pressed on, completing all the quests, digging long, tedious lines though rock, dirt, gems and ore, just to see if I'd get to see or do something cool at the end of the game. Nope, just one last text box telling me that I found the last big-ass gem.

FOR FUCKSAKES, AT LEAST GIVE THE GAME AN ENDING! A BOSS FIGHT, A CUTSCENE, HELL, I'D EVEN SETTLE FOR THE WORDS "You rich, son!" AND A PICTURE OF A GUY SITTING ON A BEACH IN TAHITI! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

*Ahem.*

So yeah, did this game kill a couple hours? Yes.
Did this game excite me at all? Sadly, no.
I just dug around for a bit and read a bunch of text boxes. I would definitely call this game "mediocre".

5/10
0/5 (Because it /really/ does not deserve a 3.86)

[Pothead Zombies]

Dieeeeeee, stinking hippies!!!

Man, these fuckers are hard to get rid of... I guess I feel you guys' pain, now...

And lol, the boss is awesome.

[Tetris Labs]

AAAAAAAH, LEVEL 7 AAAAAAAAH

Fuck, there has got to be a better way of doing that... I always hit the block to the side of me as well, and my path back up to the "surface" evaporates. It's frustrating as hell. Sorry I can't offer any ideas on how to fix it...

[Cell Defense]

Mediocre, as far as TD games go...

I thought this game was fun, and the Starcraft sound effects made me lol a bit... I dunno what people are talking about with the ads, it sucks that you can't skip it, yeah, but mute it and it's done in 30s.

However, there are some very serious faults:
- sometimes it took me 6000 clicks to place a tower, even when it was showing green...

which leads me to...
- MAKE A GRID FOR TOWER PLACEMENT! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

Also,
- the towers actually get worse as they get more expensive (I've only unlocked three of them, so it might get better after that) so it's pretty much pointless even having them there... I never upgraded anything or went past bullet towers, which made the game kind of boring and repetitive.

Mid-pack, as far as TD games go.

[Undead Highway]

MAN...

If this guy wasn't such a FUCK-TARD behind the wheel, this game would have been a lot easier... I mean seriously. If he hadn't been driving at a HUNDRED AND TEN FUCKING MILES PER HOUR, he wouldn't have overheated, ran out of fuel, and likely wouldn't have crashed into anything, either.

Haha, but seriously. This game is awesome and the guns are the kind of MacGyver shit you'd make up in a situation like that (well, most of them are, anyway...), but I didn't like a few things:

- the dying/falling down zombies moved a lot like the "live" ones, which made it hard to not get bitten when using weapons like the nailguns or the coin rifle. (But I still managed to sneak through the last level while being 90% infected for the last minute or so)

- it ran a little slow at times (even on low quality), but that could very well be my ancient web browser or my slowish computer...

- How the hell did zombies get onto the safe island? :(